


A Phony Magician and his Apprentice

by Gamerright



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Apprentice - Freeform, Bickering, Chests, Dragons, Gen, Human AU, Magic, Phon(e)y Magicians, eccentric, pitchfork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23556523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamerright/pseuds/Gamerright
Summary: A phony magician and his skeptical assistant travel cross country searching for the greatest magic trick of all time.Or...Where Gilbert is a strange, eccentric millionaire and Lovino is his poor unfortunate helper.
Relationships: Prussia & South Italy (Hetalia)
Kudos: 3





	A Phony Magician and his Apprentice

**Author's Note:**

> For any newbies in the fandom.  
> Gilbert= Prussia  
> Lovino= South Italy
> 
> The city names mean nothing. They're random and probably don't exist.

“People of Nantwich! Come and witness the greatest magic show on the planet!”A man in a black suit shouted, pointing his cane at the sky. He wore a red cape and a black top hat, clearly contrasting with the people around him with his naturally pale skin and white hair. The man’s face was lit up with excitement even as the townspeople continued to walk past him without so much as a second glance.

  
Lovino stood off to the side in the mouth of an alley, trying his hardest to be invisible. His plan failed as the same people whispering about the strange man also whispered about him.

  
They had been standing in a small plaza at the edge of town for about three hours and no one had bothered to stop and see the “greatest magic show on the planet!” 

  
Lovino scowled as his stomach growled for the tenth time that evening. He was getting fed up with this phoney magician and his dumb tricks. The man knew why he wasn’t getting an audience. His show from yesterday had been a complete failure.

  
“Ba- I mean,” Lovino gritted his teeth. He had been told to refrain from name calling while they worked or his pay would be docked. He cleared his throat and started again, “Hey, Awesomely Magnificent Magician Gilbert.”

  
The man stopped mid sentence and turned to Lovino. Lovino was once again slightly proud of the fact that he didn’t flinch when the man turned his red gaze onto him.

  
“Yes, Boy Wonder?”

  
Lovino’s scowl deepened at the nickname.

  
“My name is Lovino,” Lovino growled. “And how long are you going to stay up there? No one's going to stop by-” Lovino’s stomach rumbled again. “-and I'm starving.”

  
The red eyed man turned once again to look at the passersbys. Lovino thought he was being ignored and was about to risk his pay when the man turned back to him.

  
“You’re right,” the man laughed. “Let's take a break and grab some lunch.”

  
Lovino internally sighed in relief as Gilbert began packing up some of his props. He didn’t have many, which was part of the reason they hardly got an audience besides the fact that the man knew next to nothing about doing magic tricks.

  
Lovino remembered their first show together in Glossop(another stupid town name). From what Lovino had seen of the man before that day, he had thought that he would at least be a decent magician. 

  
“Alright,” Gilbert finished putting everything in the suitcases. He pushed one to Lovino.

  
Lovino groaned but grabbed the bag anyway.

  
“Let’s go, Boy Wonder!”

  
“The name’s Lovino, bastard!”

  
...

  
They found a small restaurant to dine at. As usual, Gilbert ordered the weirdest food on the menu and Lovino ordered something that looked like it wouldn’t make him puke.

  
“You know, I still don’t understand why we’re doing this,” Lovino said. He gave his sandwich a once over to make sure it didn’t have anything weird in it.

  
“Doing what?” Gilbert asked. He looked quite happy with his ketchup and… whatever strange meat that was. Lovino was happier not knowing.   
“All this,” Lovino waved around. “The traveling and the magic shows. You have a shit ton of money. Why are you going around doing stupid magic shows?”

  
Gilbert stopped mid bite and lowered his sandwich to his plate.

  
“Didn’t I already tell you, Lovino...”

  
Lovino frowned as Gilbert suddenly grew serious.

  
“All the money in the world can’t buy happiness,” A grin appeared on Gilbert’s face as he flicked the tip of his hat. “Only magic can bring cheerful smiles to people’s faces. That’s why-”

  
Lovino jumped as the eccentric man stood and shouted,

  
“We’re going to find the greatest magic trick in the world!”

  
“Sit down, dumbass!” Lovino hissed. “Everyone’s staring at us!”

  
“So?” Gilbert continued to grin. “What does it matter? Their smiles mean that I’m doing my job as an entertainer!”

  
“They aren’t smiling.” Lovino looked around at the people. Some of them, specifically the parents, were pulling their kids out of the restaurant. “They look more scared if anything.” 

  
“Kesese~” Gilbert laughed. He grabbed his cane and tapped it on the floor. “Maybe I can make them laugh then.” Gilbert threw his hand back, making his bright cape flutter. “It’s time for another magic show!”

  
“Sir,” A man behind the counter said. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

  
“Leave?” Gilbert walked up to the counter and slammed his hand down. “We can’t leave. We came here for a very important reason.”

  
“We did?” Lovino asked, doubtfully.

  
“Yes!” Gilbert turned back to the man. “We can’t leave until we’ve found what we came here for.”

  
“A-and t-that is?” the cashier asked. He had shrunk down in the face of the strange pale man with blood red eyes. 

  
“The magic chest!”

  
The cashier looked confused.

  
“The magic… do you mean the cursed chest?”

  
“Magic is no curse,” Gilbert exclaimed. He pointed his cane at the man. “So you do know of it?”

  
“Y-yes,” the man pointed to his left. “It’s down the road. At Ms.Baker’s. She said that the box was strange. Made her see things that didn’t exist.”

  
“Oh really?” Gilbert asked, excitement clearly shining in his eyes.

  
“We aren’t ghost hunters.” Lovino said, throwing away his trash. He was ignored.

  
“What else can you tell us?”

  
…

  
“What the hell are you doing?”

  
The duo now stood in front of a brick house. It closely resembled the houses around it making Lovino question how Gilbert knew this was the place the man was talking about.

  
Lovino had been under the impression that they were going to do the sensible thing which was, find the woman, ask her about the chest, and then leave. 

  
But the dumbass was doing some strange poses in front of the door as if he were trying to will it open.

  
“Just doing a bit of preliminary magic.” Gilbert stood and wiped his forehead.

  
“You’re into that stuff too?” Lovino asked. He scowled. “I thought you were just trying to do simple things like make a card appear or make a rabbit disappear. Not this stupid witchy stuff.”

  
Gilbert faced the teen, an oddly serious look on his face.

  
“All magic is magic,” he said simply and continued with his ritual.

  
After five minutes of that, Lovino was more than fed up. He pulled out a piece of metal from his pocket and, ignoring the protests of the white haired man, picked the lock.

  
“There.” Lovino said, pushing the door open. Gilbert tsked. “What the hell’s your problem?”

  
“You can’t pick every lock you see,” Gilbert then wiggled his eyebrows. “A guy as awesome as me won’t be behind every door.”

  
Lovino rolled his eyes, knowing what he was referring to.

  
This whole mess started a couple of months ago in his hometown. Lovino was an orphan who spent his time roaming the streets, trying to survive off of anything he could find. One day he heard from a friend of his that there was a mansion that housed a millionaire, but everyone was afraid of him because he was a demon. 

  
Lovino had taken that as a challenge and broke into the mansion the next day (none of the other kids knew how to pick a lock quite like Lovino). Little did he know that a strange man proclaiming himself to be a magician resided there.

  
Lovino would have been better off on the streets.

  
“Yeah? Well at least they wouldn’t kidnap me,” Lovino replied. 

  
“Kidnap you?” Gilbert placed a hand on his heart, faking a look of hurt. “Is that what you see this as? I gave up everything to save you, out of the kindness of my heart.”

  
“Saved me!? You said you were going to send me to jail! That’s blackmail!”

  
“You broke into my house~” Gilbert replied, walking into the house. He patted Lovino on the way in. “I decided to make you my minion instead of sending you to jail or back to the streets. The least you could do is thank me.”

  
“Why the hell should I thank you?” Lovino shut the door behind him.

  
The windows were covered in black fabric, so the room was lit only by a single candle hanging from the wall.

  
“Huh,” Gilbert said. “This doesn’t look like the home of a magician.”

  
“What the hell does a magician's house look like?” Lovino asked. “And why would you think this woman is a magician?”

  
“Why else would she have a magic chest?” Gilbert walked around the room, careful not to touch anything. “This woman doesn’t know the meaning of cleanliness, does she?”

  
Lovino hadn’t been paying attention to the piles of clothing strewn everywhere. As he walked deeper into the house, he got a bad feeling.

  
“I think we should leave.”

  
“Nonsense!” Gilbert laughed. “The fun’s just getting started!”

  
“What fun?” Lovino asked. “We break into a crazy old woman’s home and you call this fun?!”

  
“It’s an experience!”

  
Lovino kept his mouth shut. He thought if he wasted anymore energy on the idiot, he was going to go insane.

  
“Lovino!” Lovino turned at hearing his name. “I found it~”

  
Lovino rolled his eyes and followed the voice.

  
Pushing aside stray piles of clothing and strangely colored objects, Lovino walked into the bedroom.

  
Strangely, it was much tidier than the rest of the house, though the stripes on the walls of different shades made everything so much worse than the mess behind him.

  
Gilbert was found kneeling in front of a stone black chest. Looking at the object, Lovino knew this was what they had come for. The bad feeling from earlier increased tenfold and it only continued to rise when Gilbert reached to unlock it.

  
“Stop, dumbass!” Lovino shouted. In three strides, he grabbed the back of Gilbert’s suit and pulled.

  
“Oi!” Gilbert shook off Lovino’s hold and glared at the teen. “This suit is expensive!”

  
“Fuck that!” Lovino shouted, his voice growing quiet. “What the hell are you doing? You don’t know what’s in that box or where it came from! Some… freak could jump out of there!”

  
Gilbert paused for a second. 

  
“You…” Loud, hissing like laughter erupted from the man. He hunched over, almost hitting his head on the chest. “You-!”

  
“Shut up!” Lovino could feel his cheeks start to burn. “Stop laughing and listen to me, dammit!”

  
“What the hell, Lovi?” Gilbert wiped a tear from his eye.

  
“It’s Lo-vi-no, bastard,” Lovino angrily replied. He gave Gilbert a harsh shove and took a few steps back. “Go ahead and open the fucking box. I hope a mercenary jumps out and shoots you!”

  
After his laughter had settled, Gilbert finally answered.

  
“Nothing in this box is going to hurt us.” Gilbert grabbed the handle. “There’s only- Shit this thing is heavier than I-” Gilbert shifted and pushed the box lid up. 

  
The chest opened with a loud creak. The unsettling feeling was suffocating. Lovino leaned on the wall for support.

  
What the hell, Lovino thought.

  
Gilbert didn’t seemed fazed by the disturbing aura. He reached his hand into the box.

  
Fucking dumbass! Lovino thought. He couldn’t bring himself to speak. Up and down his legs, around his torso, behind his ear, everywhere, everywhere he could feel something tightening, as if something was trying to suffocate him.

  
“Ah ha!” As soon as Gilbert pulled a round multicolored orb, a loud cry resounded.

  
“Who’s in there!”

  
The suffocating feeling relaxed and Lovino could breathe again, though he didn’t have enough time to think about the imaginary force.

  
“Shit!” Gilbert stored the orb in his tux. 

  
An old woman rounded the corner and stared the two down. She was overall unimpressive and looked like any old woman on the streets. Except for the pitchfork.

  
“Woah!” Gilbert and Lovino held their hands up. Gilbert smiled at the woman. “No need to get violent-”

  
“Who are you and what are you doing in my house!?”

  
Lovino glared at the older man. This idiot had better have a way of getting them out of this mess. He didn’t want to go to jail!

  
“My name is Gilbert. You may know of me as an awesome, world class magician-”

  
They were going to die. Lovino was sure of it. Whenever they ran into guards and the man tried to talk his way out of a situation, it just landed them in deeper trouble. The man loved talking about himself way too much. 

  
“- and this is my assistant, Boy Wonder!-”

  
“It’s Lovino!”

  
The woman narrowed her eyes. Lovino didn’t like that look.

  
“We’ve come to collect a magic orb,” Gilbert continued. 

  
The woman raised her pitchfork and pointed it at them.

  
“You have until the count of three to give me the orb and get out of my house.” The woman said slowly.

  
“We can’t just-”

  
“One...”

  
“Give her the damn thing!”

  
“I can’t just give it back to her!”

  
“Two…”

  
“Why the hell not?”

  
“Thr-”

  
Before the woman could finish counting a loud shriek could be heard from the window. A yellow ball of fuzz zoomed into the room and landed on Gilbert's head.

  
“Gilbird!”

  
They surely were going to die!

  
“Is that a chicken?” The woman asked. She looked so surprised that she lowered her pitchfork.

  
“Chicken!?” Gilbert asked, offended. “Does this-?”

  
Lovino rushed over and grabbed the man, pulling him toward the woman. The woman readily jumped out of the way and was too surprised to raise her fork.

  
“Hey! My suit!”

  
“Shut the hell up!”

  
The duo exited the house and ran down the street, not stopping until they reached the edge of town.

  
“Shit-” Lovino wheezed, collapsing onto the ground. He didn’t protest when the older man crouched next to him breathing just as hard.

  
“That-” _Gasp._ “-went well.”

  
“Did it?!” Lovino asked. He sat up and glared at the man. “Because to me, it looks like you almost got us killed!”

  
“It was an old woman and her pitchfork. What harm could she really do?”

  
“You say that now, but when she walked in you looked ready to shit your pants.”

  
“I did not! I was just a little surprised.”

  
“Why the hell didn't you give her the orb!”

  
“Because!”

  
“Because isn’t a reason!”

  
Gilbert took out the orb. Up close, the sphere reflected colors and shapes in multicolored harmony. The man turned it around and around, studying it.

  
“Yep! This is the one!”

  
Lovino didn’t know how much more of this man’s stupidity he could take. Avoiding guardsmen at every town they went to, dealing with upset locals who showed their disapproval for the show by throwing tomatoes at them, Lovino was tired of it all.

  
“Gilbert…”

  
“Hm?” Gilbert looked up, a happy grin adorning his face.

  
“You absolute fucking idiot!” The happy grin quickly slid off the man’s face. “What the hell is wrong with you? Who endangers themseves for something as stupid and fake as magic!?”

  
“Magic isn’t fake.” Gilbert stood, towering over Lovino by a few inches. His face was much more serious than Lovino had ever seen him. Before he could say anything in retaliation, and maybe continue cursing the man out for his stupidity, Gilbert’s face lit up with an innocent grin. “I can finally prove it to you.”

  
“How?” Lovino waved his arms. “Gonna cast a spell?” Lovino waved his hands at Gilbert. “Abracadabra, go fuck yourself.”

  
Lovino turned and was about to storm off, when something landed in his hair.

  
“What…” Lovino reached up and was met with a coo. He removed the small creature from his hair. It’s beady black eyes almost looked intelligent, as if it were challenging him.

  
Lovino alway did like a challenge. It was the reason why he broke into Gilbert’s house in the first place. It may be the reason why he chose to stick around the red eyed dumbass despite the fact that he could probably run away.

  
“Alright then.” Lovino nodded at the bird. He felt a little stupid for it(as if the thing could understand him). 

  
Lovino turned and handed the bird back to Gilbert. Crossing his arms, Lovino gave him a disinterested look.

  
“Go ahead. Do your magic trick.”

  
“Yes!” Gilbert first pumped the air. Holding the orb out, Gilbert said at barley above a whisper, “Watch this.”

  
Lovino watched as the man nudged his bird. The bird hopped a few times on his palm and then flew over onto Gilbert’s other hand, right next to the orb. The bird looked at Lovino and seemed to also say ‘watch this’ as he hopped onto the sphere.

  
Dazzling white light erupted from the orb, momentarily blinding Lovino. Cursing, Lovino shielded his eyes, until the light dissipated and was replaced by darkness.

  
The feeling was back. The suffocating crushing feeling he felt when they first entered the old woman’s house. 

  
“Here.” Something cold slid around his neck and landed on his chest. “The magic can be a little hard to be around. But look, Lovino!”

  
Lovino finally looked up. For a few seconds all he could see was darkness, until he realized that a shape was obscuring the sun. Brilliant, gleaming scales resting on a body 30 feet long, large fork like tongue, a gaping maw filled with hundreds of razor sharp teeth-

  
A dragon. He was looking at a fucking dragon!

  
“Isn’t he awesome!” Gilbert exclaimed.

  
“Dragon…” Lovino couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

  
“Yes, a dragon!” Gilbert laughed. “He’s been a baby for years! I’m glad we found that orb so we could age him up.”

  
“A fucking dragon…” Lovino continued to stare. “You mean to tell me… magic is real?”

  
“Of course it is!” Gilbert shook his head. “I’ve been telling you this for months!”

  
“Why…” Questions buzzed around in his head, so fast that he could barely process them. “Why the hell is your dragon yellow?”

  
The dragon let out a huff.

  
“He can’t help the way he was born!”

  
Murmurs could be heard from behind them. A crowd was forming at the edge of the town, all staring at the dragon in wonder and fear.

  
“See!” Gilbert exclaimed to the crowd. He pointed up at the beast. “Magic~”

  
“Thief!” The old woman pushed her way to the front of the crowd, her pitchfork poised and ready. A few guardsmen stood behind her.

  
“Uh oh! Time to go!”

  
Lovino was unceremoniously dragged and hauled up onto the massive dragon. The scales were slick, not allowing many places to grab on.

  
“Where the fuck am I-”

  
“His hair!”

  
Shrill whistles resounded from behind them. Once Gilbert had secured himself onto the dragon’s back he shouted,

  
“Let’s go!”

  
10 minutes later, the duo had successfully made their escape. 15 minutes after that, with some urging, Lovino finally released his death grip from the dragon.

  
“So?” Without turning around, Lovino knew Gilbert was wiggling his eyebrows.

  
“What?”

  
“What do you think about this magic trick? Pretty awesome right?”

  
It was more than awesome. It was fucking spectacular!

  
Instead of saying that, Lovino turned around and asked, “Is this the greatest magic trick in the world?”

  
Red eyes sparkled with amusement and challenge.

  
“Of course not!” Gilbert grinned. “There’s so much more to see, we just have to find it!”

  
“So you don’t even know where it is?”

  
“Where’s the fun in that?”

  
There were so many mysteries, so many questions Lovino had. About magic, about this dragon, about this strange necklace he was wearing, about the red eyed man himself.

  
For the first time since Lovino had left his home, he was filled with a strange feeling, one that seemed to increase as Gilbird(Gildragon?) rose higher into the air, allowing a perfect view of the rolling landscape below.

  
Wonder. 

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone wants to know, Lovino is around 17 in this story and Gilbert is in his late 20's.
> 
> The bad feeling Lovino had was just an effect of the magic. The necklace he was given was supposed to shield him from it's effects which can differ depending on the individual.
> 
> Also the orb and Gilbird? In this world, some mythical creatures need a helping hand with reaching their true form, aka using magic from the orb to charge their own magic. 
> 
> Gilbert and magic? He's still a phoney. Doesn't really know much about the world of magic. He just happened upon Gilbird and learned his secret. The necklace is a keepsake from a friend who probably knew a lot about the world of magic.


End file.
